What to Do When a Loved One Dies: A Step-by-Step Guide

Even when a death is expected, the moments that follow are often filled with shock, sorrow, and uncertainty about what needs to happen next. It is completely normal to feel unsure. Most people only face these responsibilities a few times in their lives, and no one expects you to know everything.



This guide walks through the steps families typically take, from the first hours to the weeks that follow. Take them one at a time, and remember that you do not have to handle everything alone.

In the First Few Hours

Step 1: Arrange for a Legal Pronouncement of Death

Before anything else can happen, a medical professional must officially pronounce the death. How this happens depends on where your loved one passed. If the death occurred in a hospital or care facility, staff will handle the pronouncement. If your loved one was receiving hospice care at home, call the hospice nurse, who can guide you through the process. If the death was sudden or unexpected at home, call 911 right away.

Step 2: Notify Close Family and Friends

Once the death has been pronounced, reach out to immediate family members and close friends. You do not need to make every call yourself. Consider asking one or two trusted people to help spread the news to extended family, neighbors, coworkers, or members of your loved one's faith community. Sharing this task can ease a heavy emotional load.

Step 3: Contact a Funeral Home

A funeral home will arrange to bring your loved one into its care, whether from a hospital, nursing home, or residence. At Schumacher-Kish, our staff is available to answer your call at any hour, and we serve families throughout La Crosse, Onalaska, Holmen, and La Crescent. From that first conversation, we can explain what comes next and help you feel steadier during an overwhelming time.

In the First Few Days

Step 4: Look for Existing Plans or Wishes

Before making decisions, check whether your loved one left any instructions. They may have prearranged their funeral, written their preferences in a will, or discussed their wishes with a family member. If a preplanned arrangement exists, much of the decision-making may already be done, allowing you to focus on honoring the plans they made.

Step 5: Make Funeral or Memorial Arrangements

Meeting with a funeral director is an important step. Together, you will discuss whether your family prefers burial or cremation, what type of gathering feels right, and how to reflect your loved one's personality and values. Reviewing an overview of funeral and cremation services ahead of time can help you feel more prepared for this conversation. You will also make choices about the obituary, music, readings, flowers, and any religious or cultural traditions you wish to include.

If your loved one served in the military, be sure to mention it. Veterans may be eligible for burial benefits, a flag presentation, and other honors. Our team can help your family arrange meaningful veterans services that recognize their service with dignity.

Step 6: Gather Important Documents

Several documents will be needed in the days and weeks ahead. These often include your loved one's Social Security number, birth certificate, marriage certificate, military discharge papers (DD-214), insurance policies, and any will or trust documents. Placing everything in a single folder can make later tasks far easier.

Step 7: Request Certified Death Certificates

Your funeral director will typically help file the death certificate and order certified copies. You will likely need several of them to close bank accounts, claim life insurance, transfer property, and notify government agencies. Ordering more than you think you need can save time later.

In the Weeks That Follow

Step 8: Handle Financial and Legal Matters

After the service, attention often turns to practical affairs. Notify the Social Security Administration, your loved one's employer or pension provider, banks, and insurance companies. If there is a will, the named executor will begin working through the estate, sometimes with the help of an attorney. Remember to cancel subscriptions, forward mail, and secure the home or vehicle if needed. There is no need to rush. Many of these tasks can be spread out over several weeks.

Step 9: Make Room for Your Grief

With so many responsibilities, it is easy to set your own emotions aside. Yet grief deserves attention, too. Rest when you can, accept offers of help, and lean on the people who care about you. Some families find comfort in reading about the grieving process or receiving gentle encouragement along the way. Our GriefWords support resources offer thoughtful guidance for the days, weeks, and months after a loss.

You Do Not Have to Do This Alone

Losing someone you love changes everything, and no checklist can fully prepare you for that. What a guide like this can do is give you a starting point when your thoughts feel scattered. Take things one step at a time, ask questions whenever you need to, and allow yourself to lean on others.

For more than 75 years, families in our community have trusted Schumacher-Kish Funeral and Cremation Services to guide them with compassion and care. If you have recently lost a loved one or simply want to know what to expect, our team is ready to listen and help whenever the time is right for you.